Sunshine Blogger Award


Hey hey im baaaack!

I have been nominated by the lovely Dollie Daydream. Please do check her blog out, she’s an amazing blogger and her page is lush!
So, ‘The Rules’

  • Thank the person at nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions your nominator has given you.
  • Nominate 11 other people and give them 11 new questions to answer.
  • List the rules and display the award.

My 11 Questions

1) If you could be any animal for a day what would it be and why?

I think i’d probably be some type of bird like, not a pigeon or anything as they are just rats with wings! I’d want to be maybe a vulture or even a magpie. They can fly around so freely, look down at the world and see so much and also… I’d sh*t on a lot of people’s heads!

2) If you could name a planet what would you call it and what would it be like?

I’d name it ‘Heaven’, it would be where you went when you had passed away. It would be just how I imagine heaven to be –  Beautiful, warm, fluffy, everyone gets along and the whole planet was at peace. To get on to the planet it would be like travelling to another country – You’d have to take identification and you could only stay there for a certain amount of time to visit your loved ones that had passed.

3) When you have had a stressful day what is the first thing you do when you get home?

As I work shifts and the times I get home are different then my methods can vary. If I’m on an early shift I get home between 14:00 and 14:30. If im stressed out then I’ll put the kettle on, find some crap TV like maybe Jeremy Kyle and I’ll sit and watch that (Always a few people on there that will make you feel better about your own life!) and I’ll wait for my other half to come home to cheer me up which is something she is extremely good at from the minute she walks through the door and smiles at me! If im on a late shift which finishes between 22:30 and 23:00 and it’s been stressful then I tend to get straight in to bed, take a deep breath, and offload to the other half who is an extremely good listener! Then have a spoon and go to sleep, reminding myself that tomorrow is another day and it will be better than today!

4) Name one thing you love about yourself and why?

I love that I can get along with so many different people. No matter their race, age, size, sex, religion, looks, sexuality, or opinions. I always try my best to not judge straight away and give people a chance. This means I have such a variety of people who I know and talk to either face to face or via social media (mainly social media because I’m not as shy behind a computer screen!). Being able to do this has got me so far in life!

5) What do you think is important in a friend?

TRUST! It’s important in anything but especially in all types of relationships. I need to be able to trust my friends and I hope that all my friends feel they can trust me. And a sense of humour is a big thing for me. Like, if we can’t giggle and you don’t get my sense of humour then it’s going to be quite challenging for us to be able to get along as friends. Girl Code! – Also a biggie. My female friends must be able to stick to the girl codes! I’m not sure if i was supposed to stick to one answer for this question… Ooops!

6) Do you live your life with certain morals or rules because of your upbringing? Why are they important to you?

Wow, this is quite a tought one as I think I have a fair few but the main morals and rules I have been brought up with are to be honest and to be open-minded. My mum, nana and grampa taught me that. I was sometimes painfully honest. At school if I did something wrong then I would always tell my mum as soon as I could. That way, she could stick up for me and she would always be understanding. If I did something that got me into trouble, there was always a reason behind it. Being open minded, my mum is the best at this especially when I told her about my sexuality. She was brought up in a different era and was taught differently but she always tries her best to understand me and my ways. These are just 2 morals that I live by and they are important to me because they have helped make me the person I am today.

7) If you were given a trolley and told you had 5 minutes to grab your favourites from your local supermarket and keep them for free, what would be your top 5 go to’s?

  1. CRISPS! Anyone that knows me, knows about my crisp obsession. Any crisps any flavour!
  2. Quorn. It’s so expensive so I’d deffo pick some up for free!
  3. Painkillers. I go through paracetamol and ibuprofen as boost for my other painkillers like their going out of fashion!
  4. Sound system. I’d deffo pick myself up a decent sound system for the TV for when I’ve got Youtube on!
  5.  Tampons! let’s be honest ladies, they should be soo much cheaper than they are so who wouldn’t grab some for free!?

8) If you could take up ANY new hobby what would it be and why?

This is a real tough one! There are soo many hobbies and I feel like I already do my fave hobbies. But I think it would probably be football tbh. Mainly because my other half is obsessed with football, she watches it, plays it, used to work in football and I’d love to be able to understand more about it to take even more of an interest in it for her and also to be able to play it so I could have a kick about with her and not look like such a fool when doing so lol.

9) If you could have one thing for breakfast tomorrow and it could be ANY combination or anything what would you choose?

It’s obvious really… A bloody huge bowl of crisps!! Enough said.

10) Ebooks or physical books?

I haven’t even been reading books for very long tbh but I definitely prefer physical books. I enjoy holding a proper book, feeling how many pages I’ve read and how many I have left to read. But, I’ve never really read an ebook.

11) What do you link yourself with more a mermaid or a unicorn?

100% unicorn. I’m terrified of open water so I couldn’t be a mermaid even if I wanted to! My mum is obsessed with unicorns and either says that she owns one or that she is one and a unicorn couldnt give birth to a mermaid! And also because unicorns sh*t rainbows!!

11 questions I’d like my nominated bloggers to answer:

  1. What made you think ‘I want to start blogging’?
  2. You wake up one day and you’re told you can do ANYTHING you want within the next 24hours?
  3. If you were stuck on an abandoned island, what celebrity would you want to be stuck with?
  4. What was your dream job as a child?
  5. Would you rather have a night out on the town or a cosy night in?
  6. Sweet or savoury? And what is your fave sweet or savoury snack?
  7. What’s your favourite thing about yourself?
  8. What’s the best compliment you’ve received?
  9. If you could wake up in the body of ANYONE else, who would it be and why?
  10. If you could be any age for the day what would it be and why?
  11. What was your favourite lesson at school and why?



I would like to nominate:

@EmmaJadeRamsell

@BumpBruiseBlog

@NicoleMcln

@SAMBAAAA_

@SimplyyChlo

@chloemtommo

@Beautyspyglass

@JohnRdToVol

@PaleGrlRambling

@kaytesfoodblog

@Rainbowimagine 

    #Forgetfulblogger 



    Just Another Appointment?

    #forgetfulblogger

    20/02/17 I had an appointment at the JR in Neuroscience. I already had it in my head that it was a waste of time being there. Just another appointment with no answers. Luckily i don’t suffer from what some may call “White Coat Syndrome“, if im honest, i didn’t even know what this was until someone asked me about it. And if you are also unaware of this it means- People with this syndrome exhibit a blood pressure level above their normal range in clinical setting (Dr’s surgeries and hospitals). The term white coat comes from references to the white coats traditionally worn by Dr’s. So, luckily I don’t have a fear of hospitals or white coats! I just don’t have much faith in them at the moment.

    My name was called to enter the Drs office. He was a very polite man (not wearing a white coat though!), introduced himself to my partner and I ‘Nice to meet you’ he said.

    He asked what my understanding of this appointment with him was ‘I have no idea if I’m honest’. He said that was ok and asked me to give a brief description as to what has been going on since May. I tried to make it as brief as possible but he kept asking me more questions so I’d go into a little more depth about it all so this “brief description” ended up taking about 35mins! 

    He started to focus on the fact that I have quite a high level of anxiety and was asking about previous counselling sessions I’d had for my anger and anxiety. It was then that I started to get an understanding for what this appointment was all about… It was basically another damn counselling session! My partner had to take a day off work and drive me to Oxford for a counselling session!? Once I’d got this into my mind I felt a little annoyed but I tried my best to stay focused and answer all of his questions. 

    Hands starting to sweat as I rub them together and jiggle my legs whilst stutterin as I become more and more anxious with all attention being on me – ‘How was your childhood?‘, ‘What sort of cancer did your mother have‘, ‘do you have any siblings?‘, ‘what we’re your previous counselling sessions like?‘, ‘How old were you when your father left?‘. He even drew up a rough drawing of my family tree! This guy now knows more about me than most of my friends and family do. I’m starting to feel a little uneasy, I’m not very good at letting my gaurd down and explaining how I felt during what could be described as tough times from the past.

    I started to realise where he was going with all of this. He was about to blame all of these blackouts and the memoryloss on my anxiety! Man was I right! So I’m feeling a little knocked down by this approach. I’ve always said that many Drs will just give you a random diagnosis just so you feel you have an explanation as to what is happening to you even if it isn’t precise. And now this guy had just proved my point.

    Yes, I understand that my anxiety probably doesn’t help, but now this Dr has made me feel like it’s all in my head! As if I don’t feel crazy enough when I come round after passing out and I’m convinced everyone else is wrong about the day and time!

    ‘Now, don’t feel like I’m telling you it’s all in your head because it’s not, it’s very much real’. What!? ‘Do you like reading?’ He asked. Well I’d never read a full book until recently, but now I love reading books on psychology and how the brain works. ‘Perfect, I’ve got a book that you may enjoy, it’s called – It’s All In Your Head by Suzanne O’Sullivan. Is this man for real? One minute he’s telling me it’s not in my head and the next, he wants me to read a book about it being in my head! Well, I’ve ordered the book but I’m not sure whether I should read it as it may just wind me up even more! But if I do get round to reading it I will make a blog of my review 👍

    I came away from this appointment feeling quite let down in a way. I understand that he was trying to help and see it from a different point of view but I couldn’t get those words out of my mind “It’s all in your head“. But he’s the Dr, right? So he should know best. And he feels that the stress my anxiety is giving me may be a cause to my headaches as I tend to overthink things and wind myself up, putting myself under stress that could be avoided. 

    At the moment I’m willing to give anything a go to try and get this all to end or even calm right down. So he has prescribed me some new medication, it’s something that people with epilepsy take to calm them down apparently. He’s also going to sign me up to a group session to talk about my anxiety. I said I’d try my best to attend but, ironically, I have anxiety so I’m not exactly a huge fan of socialising, especially when it means sitting in a group of people I don’t know! 

    So at the moment that appointment seems pointless, just like the rest. But who knows, maybe if I can get my anxiety under control, it will stop the headaches, which in theory should stop me from passing out. I’m willing to give it a go but I don’t have too much faith in it all at the moment. Keep your fingers crossed for me! And if you have anymore questions about this appointment then please feel free to contact me 🙂 

    #forgetfulblogger 

    Into The Deep – #ForgetfulBlogger 

    Ok, so I was overwhelmed with the support I received after posting my first ever blog and got so excited about my next entry – But I had no idea where to take it from there! I turned to friends and family and asked- What is it you would like to know about my experiences with blackouts and memory loss, so that I could go into a little more depth with it all. So here goes…

    #ForgetfulBlogger

    -Do you ever remember things that you have forgotten and are there ways you can get any of those memories back or do they come back randomly?

    During the “big blackout” that I had where I’ve lost 2 years of my memory I have remembered a few random things. Usually something jogs my memory like in 2015 our bungalow got flooded from a burst pipe, we had to live in rented accommodation while our house got sorted. I had forgotten all of this but I used to go past the house that we temporarily rented almost every day and one day something just jogged my memory! I remembered that we had lived there for 2 months! Sometimes I could just be laid in bed thinking and I have to ask ‘was that a dream or is it a lost memory from the past 2 years?’ lol. If you can imagine waking up from a deep dream but when you try to explain it to someone it all seems quite blurry- THAT is how bits of my memory come back. When I have these smaller episodes of blacking out – I tend to loose the last 2 or 3 days and most of that slowly comes back over about a week.

    -Do the Drs know if its heredity and has anything like this ever happened to any other family members?

    No, they cant see any signs to say that its heredity and nothing like this has happened to any family members, that I’m aware of.

    -Do you know you’re about to pass out or is it sudden?

    I can never remember what or how i feel seconds before i black out, but during the lead up to me passing out- I will get a severe headache, a lot worse than it usually is. This usually gives me and others around me an indication as to what’s about to happen. Ive been told that I also become very quiet and quite withdrawn from whatever is going on and round me. My partner has told me that my veins In my hands stand out and become raised which I am assuming is to do with my blood pressure rising from whatever is happening inside my body at the time.

    -Can you remember your initial thoughts when you first come round after passing out? What goes through your mind when it happens now?

    When all of this started it was very confusing and quite scary when I first came around. Id usually be surrounded by my mother and partner and sometimes an ambulance crew. I remember the first couple of times thinking ‘I wonder if I’ve lost another 2 years or if my memory has all come back’, neither of which was right. I used to worry and get a little scared, I didn’t know  what was going on and how I ended up on the floor. Now it seems to be a regular occurrence – I wake up knowing what’s likely to have just happened and just think ‘Oh not again’, my partner asks how my head is, whether I’m in pain and what day I think it is. I still have some slight confusion when I come around and I feel quite vulnerable at first but I recover a lot quicker now.

    – What was it like when you first blacked out and came around feeling like you’d travelled to the future, how was it adjusting to every day things?

    Well I thought it was all a huge joke that everyone was in on! I was determined that it was still 2014, I’d get upset and angry because I thought that everyone else was wrong! The Dr’s were constantly asking questions to find out how much of my memory had gone and I’d get would up and annoyed with them. I did get a little bit cheeky – Id memorise signs around me so that when the Dr’s or my family would ask ‘Do you know where you are now Daniella?’ I’d remember all the signs id seen. They caught me out most of the time though! When I was allowed to leave hospital and I walked into my house a lot had changed in the past 2 years. I became quite upset and agitated with all of the changes I could see around me. I had to ask where so many things were including my own belongings in my own home. But, on the plus side – I had a whole new wardrobe, a lot more money, and a much better partner!

    -What sort of tests have you had done so far?

    So, when I started getting these horrendous headaches I went to the opticians to see if it had anything to do with my eyesight as I do wear glasses. They noticed that my peripheral vision in my left eye was absent. I had numerous field tests at the opticians and it was handed over to my local eye hospital but apart from slightly bad vision in my left eye, there was nothing serious to be seen and nothing to link it to my headaches. Things with my head kept getting worse, I tried almost every painkiller that could be bought over the counter and they just weren’t touching the pain. I ended up going to my Dr Who organised tests for sinusitis and when that showed nothing and they referred me to a neurologist. Through them I have had a lot of MRI scans, neuoropthalmology tests, an EGG test where they wired up my head and checked for any abnormal activity, and when I was in hospital I had a lumbar puncture done to check for any infections. None of which explain whatever condition it is that I have.

    – Do you ever talk to your friends and family about the effects this has on them, it must cause a tremendous strain on your personal relationships?

    I don’t think I’ve asked them outright as I believe I know how it must effect them. Obviously my mum, sister and partner are extremely  supportive and I understand the strain it must have and still puts on them. Luckily I knew them all before 2014 lol. My close friends are also very supportive and patient and have a slight understanding of what goes on and maybe after reading my blog, you too will have an insight as to what goes on. My work colleagues I think it was most strange for. They had a rough idea as to what had happened but I don’t think it really hit them until I first walked back into the office again. They obviously remembered me but had to treat me like a stranger in a way. They have also been very supportive and helped me while I re-trained for my job again which I’m extremely thankful for.

     -Does it effect your everyday life like going out?

    It doesn’t stop me from going out altogether, no. I don’t worry too much about passing out while I’m out in public and that hasn’t happened yet. But if I’ve already passed out I tend to be a bit vulnerable for a day as im still getting used to the fact that my memory has gone back a day or two. I tend not to go out by myself very often anyway so I’ve always got my partner, mother or a close friend with me for reassurance. When I first lost my memory I did worry that I’d see someone that I’d  met between 2014 and 2015 that I couldn’t remember. Or, I’d worry that I might attempt to speak to someone that I’d stopped speaking to between 2014 and 2015 for whatever reason but I think I’ve caught up with everyone now!

    Thank you so much to everyone that participated in helping me to write my second blog – Into The Deep.