You open you’re eyes, it’s a Sunday morning. You’re just about to roll over to give your other half a snuggle but they aren’t there. They are in the bathroom brushing their teeth. ‘What are you doing up already?’ You ask, it’s Sunday neither of us have to be up until about 10am and it’s only 07:30.
I’m getting ready for work’ They reply, looking just as confused as you at this point. ‘Babe, it’s Sunday you have football today not work’ I remind her. ‘No Daniella it’s Wednesday, I have work and the car needs to go for it’s MOT this morning, have you passed out during the night?’ She asks.
Thoughts start rushing through my head. I’m sure it’s Sunday, I can’t have missed that many days, I don’t even remember passing out, what am I supposed to be doing today? What time should I be in work? Am I already late? Oh no I’m going to get sacked!
‘Do you remember what my dad did to his leg yesterday?’ my partner quizzes me to find out if I passed out. I shake my head, I have no idea what happened yesterday if yesterday wasn’t Saturday!
Just as I thought the gaps between my black outs were getting bigger and it was happening less. Spoke too soon didn’t I!
I’m starting to get upset. I’m frustrated with myself, I’m frustrated with the fact that in my head it’s Sunday so now I have to adapt myself and check everything to assure myself that I’m wrong, that it’s Wednesday. I start to sob. Sometimes it becomes all too much and all too worrying for me. Sometimes I’ve just got to let it out. Now it’s time to take some painkillers, forget about what I planned on doing before work today because that’s gone down the drain, ffs, another morning wasted. I guess I’ll just lay here in bed, hope that the painkillers take the edge off before I need to get ready for work. I can’t call in sick again, I can’t let my colleagues down again, I can’t put my job at risk.
I’m trying to relax, empty my mind for just an hour or two so that I can nap and try to refresh myself.
Imagine, this happens at least once a week. Maybe once every other week if I’m lucky. I become physically and mentally drained from constantly having to check what day it is and questioning myself as to whether I’m right or wrong. Whether that day out I was really looking forward to has already been and gone and I just can’t remember it. Having to look back at the pictures we took, seeing myself there but not having a single memory about it. Whether I had plans with a friend and now I have to be a let down. If I close my eyes will it all be over? Will I know exactly what day it is? What I should be doing without having to go all through my phone and double check everything with my partner?
I’d love to be able to feel a bit more independent because I can remember, know what day it is, where I am, And what I’m supposed to be doing….
Imagine.
#forgetfulblogger
How about a day calendar that is in your eye line as soon as you wake up. You turn it to the next day as you go to bed so when you wake you can immediately see what day it is xx
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oh my goodness, sweetheart I never even knew it was this bad, I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be for you and I’ve got so much respect for how strong you are, you’re an inspiration β€οΈ
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Thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time out to read my post. It means a lot π
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Goodness! I can’t imagine what that must feel like. Thankfully you appear to have an amazing support system to help you through those times π
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I’m in awe of your courage to write this post. It must be hard for you but I truly hope that that a cure will be found for this.
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Thank you so much for your kind words π
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You are so brave writing this post. It must be so difficult and you have tons of courage to be so strong. x
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Thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time out to read my post π
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I can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like! You’re so strong for dealing with this, and it sounds like you have an amazingly supportive partner. I have so much respect and love for you xx
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Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read my post π
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Wow. This is such an emotional post to read and I admire you so much for writing this. Iβve got so much respect for you lovely!
Samantha | https://believeinamiracle.co.uk
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Thanks so much. But the same goes to you and your posts!
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I can’t imagine this, not really-it must be so frustrating! I hope you get the answers you need so; meanwhile, thank you for documenting your experience.
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Thank you very much π
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No worries π
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You are so strong. I cant imagine what its like for you, it must be so confusing and frustrating. Keep going babe you will find some methods that will help slightly! x
Lola Mia // http://www.lolitabonita.co.uk
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Thank you so much, really kind of youπ
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Wow, what a powerful post. Thank you for sharing so openly. I canβt even imagine how this must be. I hope you find something that works for you soon x
http://lisabritton.blogspot.co.uk
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Thank you so much for taking time out to read my post π
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I’m so sorry! I can’t even imagine that. I struggle from kind of the opposite where I can’t forget. I really wish I could forget certain things and experiences sometimes. But I suppose we usually take for granted the things we do have. I think it’s really nice that you blog, and hopefully it helps with your memories.
Ashlynn | http://thecrimsoncardigan.com
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Thank you very much. Ha, we always want what we can’t have ay!
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